Loved Ones

My Family

“Just wait until you’re older, you’re going to come back saying I’m right.”

W1T2: Those were the words that repeatedly echoed across the walls of my home as I grew up. At that time, as a naive child who thought she knew everything about the world, I would always roll my eyes at that statement and stormed into my room before crying. Now at twenty years old, I find myself finally understanding what those words meant and swallowing my pride to admit that my parents had always been right.

Unlike most people, my parents had never been my role model growing up - but hear me out. They are great people, graduating with honours at University Malaya and now, holding successful roles as Director of Human Resources at Unilever Malaysia and Chief Technical Officer at AIA Malaysia, but never the role model for me for I had looked up to directors and actors as an aspiring film kid. It took a global pandemic to make me realise how great and inspiring they were as individuals.

My parents' 21st anniversary (2020)

Time for a little time travelling. My parents, Gary Goh and Ling Ming Choo, met at University Malaya in the year 1992, through a mutual friend. Hailing from the School of Engineering and the School of Business, my parents are a one of a kind love story. From meeting secretly in empty lecture halls to going on late night food adventures on my dad’s red bike - my parents were each other’s first romantic partners. Fast forward to 1998, they tied the knot and one thing led to another, the next thing they knew, they grew a little family of five.

Patient would be the best word that I would use to describe my father. Growing up, he was extremely patient with all of us - especially with my little brother who is autistic. But his patience is truly tested when dealing with my mother. My mother is a lioness and ruled our family with an iron fist, extremely fitting considering her star sign is a Leo. Her temper is one that I have been on the wrong end of many times but my father had always been patient with her, no matter how much she lashed out at us or him. Now this may seem like my mother is extremely strict, which she is, but I have come to understand that her strictness was only because she cared too much for me not to mention.

As the CTO, my father is, in simple words, a nerd. He had always been a nerd since young and I have proudly inherited that from him. Computers and technology are his main interests and he is always looking for ways to improve the technology within his traditional company and prompt design thinking. With that, I find myself easy to always have a conversation with him because of our similar interests. We’d often go for father-daughter cafe visits and have an intellectual conversation over coffee or visit local museums together when travelling. He is a simple and easy-going man - but of course, he too has his moments where he gets frustrated and has a temper but he always cools down quickly and explains to us.

My mother is someone who I only recently grew to admire greatly. To think after almost 19 years, it had to be a global pandemic for me to understand how great she is as a person. As a HR Director, I had often complained about how she was too harsh on me and my sister when we grew up. She was strict about our behaviour and extremely rigid with our safety hence, I wasn’t allowed to go on a lot of trips with friends neither was I allowed my way a lot of the time whenever I wanted something. Looking back, I’m glad she was strict on me because the experience has made me a lot warier of my surroundings but also more selective.

As an introvert, it is extremely ironic that my mother holds a position that requires her to work with humans round the clock. However, after 25 years in Unilever (and still counting), her blood is officially “blue” (like the logo) and she is still thriving. I didn’t realise how much she had been doing and how difficult her job was until recently - which is what grew my awe for her. Recently, I watched her work past 4am with another team member or by herself, carrying the team for a project that was the responsibility of another member. Her job was only to review for feedback but because of the terrible job produced, she took it upon herself with the rest of the team to fix it together. That’s what really changed my view on her and inspired me greatly.

I was never close to my parents growing up, only in recent years as I matured and began to understand why they said the things they said. As the oldest, I was their first child and it was no surprise that they were learning as they went with my other two siblings. The global pandemic has given me a lot more time with my parents and allowed me to understand them as individuals but at the same time, opened up a lot of hard conversations about our past. It is these conversations that have allowed us to grow and strengthen our relationships and I’m thankful that they are my parents.